I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
