I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
