my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
