god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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