and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
did i walk over a car last night?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
