defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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