So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
