One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
