I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
