All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
2020 sucks, I want a refund
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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