I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
one might say we're banned from that church
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize