wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
