just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
