I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
