ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
