He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
