Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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