so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
