Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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