dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
