How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
