Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Mom said you looked used
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
