i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
