carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
