You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
