Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
