dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
