so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
