Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
