Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
