i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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