As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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