I just cut my nipple shaving
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
