He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
