My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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