Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it's like iHOP with fire
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
