Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
