Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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