despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
