Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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