we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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