dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
