Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
