Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
