I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
