I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He did a backflip because drugs
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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