oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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