I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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