Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
