would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
