For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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