I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
