i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
