That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
