Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
