My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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