the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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