jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize