In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I have already put on my inside pants.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
