We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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