Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
