no. you can't hotbox the world.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
