That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
