Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
