yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
