Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
