I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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